I Believe (A Geeky Housewife's Manifesto)

I believe that Doctor Who is the best sci-fi show in the history of the world, ever. 
I believe that every movie Brendan Fraser has been in, regardless of the Oscar-worthiness, has been awesome and that he has acted his damn heart out and is awesome. 
I believe that the 80's was the best decade for music, and that Bubba-willing a revival of awesome decadent pop-rocky music will happen in the next ten years with Lady Gaga leading the charge and paving the way for more awesome. 
I believe that celebrities that bitch about the whole world watching their every move should realize that they've made themselves a publicly traded commodity and that they brought it on themselves. 
I also believe, however, that there are some things that we should really leave them alone about (I'm looking at you, Perez, you nosy pendejo). 
I believe that friends are friends forever, but that friendships should be two-sided exchanges of lives and ideals, and NOT HARD WORK.  If I've gotta stress about pissing you off, man you are the FUCK out of my life. 
I believe that setting my own standards of not dealing with stupidity based on my own skewed morals has made me somewhat of an asshole and loner, but that I don't have to deal with TOO much drama and I like that. 
I believe that I have too many hobbies, and that I don't have time to do half of them, but also that I will one day be able to do it and do it awesomely. 
I believe that the word awesome is not used remotely enough during a normal conversation.  Also, I believe that more people should use the words FAIL and WIN, despite what the internet thinks. 
I believe that my kid can't have enough bruises, bumps, scrapes, and cat scratches from learning her own limitations without too much of my intervention. 
I believe that irresponsible pet owners should have their animals shot or taken from them, and that they then should be told EXACTLY why they were douchebags. 
I believe that Twilight is some serious shit that sucks, and that Buffy needs a revival.
I'm fairly sure that I can't decide who's the hotter Scotsman: John Barrowman or David Tennant, even though Barrowman is super-duper gay and I love him for that. 
I believe that if you can't laugh at yourself and others, and they can't laugh back, then it's not worth having those jerks around. 
I believe that people are WAY too uptight about internet culture, especially the use of the word Faggot, and that everyone should spend some quiet lurk time in the darkest corners of the internet to just KNOW THAT IT'S THERE. 
I believe that the spiders are seriously out to get me.
I believe that food is not just about cramming shit into your mouth to survive, but that it's about culture and tradition and history. 
I believe that everyone should try eating a pig nose to tail, or at least try killing one yourself, to know where your sustenance comes from.
I believe that if you can give freely of yourself unto others, you totally should, including presents.  I LOVE giving presents. 
I believe that I am far craftier and skilled than I really am. 
I believe that my husband loves me, no matter how much fatter I've gotten over seven years.
I believe that my kid may be a genius, if only she'd quit farting on the cats and mixing ketchup in her milk. 
I believe that bad movies can sometimes be better than good movies if you need something to watch, like Repo The Genetic Opera is so much more full of win than that fucking Avatar movie that I refuse to watch.
I believe that if my family is in clean clothes, fed 3 times a day with some healthy stuff, and not wallowing in their own nasty cloud of personal filth because of that wonderful invention the shower, then goddamn you douchehogs I AM doing my job.
I believe that the eternal war between housewives and working mothers is bullshit, and that anyone who perpetrates a difference is an asshole who is more than likely someone who doesn't have kids.
I believe everyone needs a boo-boo blanky to make themselves feel better after a rough day.
I believe that milk chocolate is nasty.  Sorry.
I believe that the internet is a wonderful thing, a tool for the age, and also a burden for idiots who put too much out there and then complain OMG MAH PRIVACY when some channer with too much time on their hands goes after them.  I am guilty as well as over-sharing on the webz, but I am trying to remedy that after much experience and test-subjecting.
I believe that there is nothing cuter than a baby hedgehog.  Possibly a baby hippo.
I believe that my collection of goofy off-the-wall WTF movies is fabulous.  Bubble Boy is an under-rated comedy classic.
I believe that this blog will one day be updated on a regular basis.